Unwillingness to work towards change. The world is constantly changing, evolving; people are no different. As I learn more about myself and my purpose it's imperative to me to have people in my life that are willing to meet me where I'm at, even when "where I'm at" fluctuates on a day-to-day basis. People that give me the freedom and space to discover who I am and who I want to be are my kind of people :)
YES! This is brilliant. So important. I dated a guy who wanted to keep me stagnant, like if I showed any signs of change he'd try to instill doubt in me so I'd stop moving in the direction that made him uncomfortable. Oof. What a nightmare.
Defensive communication, poor communication, not respecting boundaries, no violence of any sort. And I must feel uplifted regarding the relationship rather than brought down / negative / burnt out.
Yes, exactly. I 100% agree. There are sooo many things that get under my skin—fear-mongering, being overly defensive, messiness, had hygiene, loud talkers, hoarders, laziness, lack of priorities/aimlessness, and being judgmental to name a few—but I wouldn't call them deal-breakers. Dishonesty is a big one and definitely makes my list and so is substance abuse. It's so important to know these things about ourselves and to honor our needs. I love what you've said about things you're not being able to hold space for in someone else based on your past. Such a key insight and I've found that every single one of my deal-breakers are related to my past in one way or another.
Unwillingness to work towards change. The world is constantly changing, evolving; people are no different. As I learn more about myself and my purpose it's imperative to me to have people in my life that are willing to meet me where I'm at, even when "where I'm at" fluctuates on a day-to-day basis. People that give me the freedom and space to discover who I am and who I want to be are my kind of people :)
YES! This is brilliant. So important. I dated a guy who wanted to keep me stagnant, like if I showed any signs of change he'd try to instill doubt in me so I'd stop moving in the direction that made him uncomfortable. Oof. What a nightmare.
Defensive communication, poor communication, not respecting boundaries, no violence of any sort. And I must feel uplifted regarding the relationship rather than brought down / negative / burnt out.
oof. yes to all of this. This is all SO key!
Reactive communication, disrespect of boundaries and refusal to let go of detrimental habits (that affect the relationship)
Ohhh reactive communication is such an important one that I hadn't thought about. Thank you for sharing, love. All of this is so vital.
Yes, exactly. I 100% agree. There are sooo many things that get under my skin—fear-mongering, being overly defensive, messiness, had hygiene, loud talkers, hoarders, laziness, lack of priorities/aimlessness, and being judgmental to name a few—but I wouldn't call them deal-breakers. Dishonesty is a big one and definitely makes my list and so is substance abuse. It's so important to know these things about ourselves and to honor our needs. I love what you've said about things you're not being able to hold space for in someone else based on your past. Such a key insight and I've found that every single one of my deal-breakers are related to my past in one way or another.