Last August I held an AMA (Ask Me Anything) and it brought thoughtful and heartfelt questions that birthed writings I’m not sure would’ve found their way out of me otherwise. I’m sharing the questions alongside the pieces that came from them so that everything can be found in one place.
I am so grateful to this community for engaging with me on so many deep uncomfortable but beautiful truths. I believe in what we are building here, and the healing we are doing. Thank you for taking the time to read my words, for asking questions, and for sharing a piece of your story with me. I look forward to your questions during the next AMA which I’ll be publishing in the next couple of weeks.
I’ll be kicking it off with a question that came in through my Instagram during the last AMA. I haven’t answered it yet because, to be honest, I don’t know the answer yet. I need to sit with it. Circle around it, pass through it, get to the center, I mean, really sit with it.
“What is a relationship deal-breaker for you, be it a romantic or other relationship?”
I’m sharing the question now so you can hold me accountable, and I wonder, what is it for you? Please leave a comment. I’d love to read your answers.
Okay, here are the questions I pulled from the AMA to do deep dives. Enjoy!
Question: In what way(s) has your relationship with your husband changed since the beginning of your pregnancy, throughout the duration of it, and after your sweet babe was born? In terms of connection, sex, interests, "free" time, individuality, working together on raising your baby, anything.
I answered this in two parts. They’re written as a letter to my husband. These pieces were incredibly hard to write. They asked so much of me and pushed me in places I never had the strength to go. I uncovered things about myself, things about us I hadn’t truly understood before writing these pieces. A great amount of healing has come from this work. I read Part II out loud to my husband and I remember the feeling of the room, how the energy shifted, how we softened and folded into each other. Thank you Tyler for asking this question that has uncovered so much, and brought so much healing, so much closure. I appreciate you.
Question: You've said before that writing saved your life. May I ask what else (if anything) you feel was integral to your version of healing?
This question and the piece that came from it are so important to me. It helped me confront a part of myself I lost a little over a year ago, but wasn’t quite sure how to live without. I found healing here as I always do in the writing. I found it in the loss and the breaking. What a gift. Thank you for this, Maggie. I am so grateful you’re part of this community.
Question: As an aspiring writer, where the hell do you start? Would love to hear all of your struggles and successes, however far you'd like to expound upon them.
What started as a bullet point list ended up as a two-part piece that’s part advice on the craft, part memoir with a load of valuable resources. Writing this helped me zero in on the art of writing, and the craft of it, and it reminded me of why I love it so much. These pieces are about writing, but they’re not only for writers. They’re for those who have had something burning inside of them, something they’ve been too scared to do, or something they’ve pushed aside because life keeps happening. It’s a reminder, a calling, an outstretched hand. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed writing them. Thank you, Tyler for bringing me back to what I love the most: the writing itself.
There were some questions I answered directly in the AMA thread, which you find here.
Before you go, I have a question for you. Do you like that some of the questions had these deep dives with separate pieces outside the thread, or would you rather me just keep it simple and keep everything in one place?
Unwillingness to work towards change. The world is constantly changing, evolving; people are no different. As I learn more about myself and my purpose it's imperative to me to have people in my life that are willing to meet me where I'm at, even when "where I'm at" fluctuates on a day-to-day basis. People that give me the freedom and space to discover who I am and who I want to be are my kind of people :)
Defensive communication, poor communication, not respecting boundaries, no violence of any sort. And I must feel uplifted regarding the relationship rather than brought down / negative / burnt out.