The us we used to know | Part I

On Love: I’m still trying to find my way back to you

This is a piece I wrote to answer one of the questions that came in from this season’s Ask Me Anything. This is part one of two, maybe three, depending on where the writing takes me. Here is the question that was asked by Tyler: 

In what way(s) has your relationship with Perry changed since the beginning of your pregnancy, throughout the duration of it, and after your sweet babe was born? In terms of connection, sex, interests, "free" time, individuality, working together on raising your baby, anything.

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We fell in love by the seaside. You and me. It was September and the California air was warm in a comforting way. We drank salt-rimmed margaritas and talked about our fathers. Talked about home and how we didn’t know what it felt like. We walked the Santa Monica cliffs and counted the waves by the moonlight. You were wearing a leather jacket and the zipper made a jingling sound when you wrapped your arms around me. The sea air was in your hair and on my lips and in our bones. 

I didn’t know then what the future would look like, but I knew I wanted to live out this life with you. I knew there was no one else I’d rather spend my days with. And here we are, ten years later. We’re married. We have a home in the blue mountains of the South. We have a business. We have a child, a love, and a life. It would seem that we have everything. And maybe we do in more ways than we don’t. But somewhere along the way, there was a severing. A gap appeared and then widened, and I’m still trying to find my way back to you.