Read this Mother's Day evening, sitting beside my boy while he chatted and splashed in his bath. Maybe it's just the summer weather encroaching, or the inevitable losses that go with raising baby farm animals, or the fact that everything feels like it hits extra deep all day every day, but every time I open your latest essay I end up with tears in my eyes. You touch those intimate little details of what it is to meet and mother yourself as you mother your child, and I love coming here and recognizing what I already know in my own experience and having it rounded out with the perfect, unique elements of your own.
Wow, thank you. This means a lot, love. "To meet and mother yourself as you mother your child" - what a beautiful way to describe this time in our lives. I appreciate you reading my words and I'm grateful that you find something here that resonates with your experience. This piece was surprisingly hard to write, especially the AFTER, for reasons I'm not quite sure of. Maybe not enough time has passed for me to truly see how much I've changed since becoming a mother, maybe because I am still in the AFTER, but I am trying to celebrate this new identity while also honoring who I once was.
I’ve been wanting to write my way through the transition into motherhood, but it’s incredibly hard sometimes. Writing crystallizes the emotions instead of letting them swirl and eddy. You have to acknowledge the truths when you write about them.
You are such an epic writer. Your writing is so clear and crisp. I continue to find it so incredibly difficult to write about motherhood now 2.5 years later. I don’t know why. But when I sit down to write I find that there’s just too much, it’s overwhelming. You perfectly captured the profound pain & beauty of motherhood. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Wow, thank you. That means a lot. I don't know how not to write about it, y'know? It consumes me. Sometimes I think maybe I write about it too much and maybe this is what it looks like to lose yourself in motherhood. But it's in the writing where I will find myself again, the present me, the woman I am becoming, and the past me, and I believe this letter is getting me that much closer. I'm so glad it resonated with you. Thank you for writing and for reading.
I gave birth to my son five weeks ago - this poem perfectly captures the contradiction of feelings around my creative passions that I’m feeling as a mother.
Wow, five weeks. Congratulations! The early days are both brutal and beautiful, often at the same time. You will get to your passions again. It's just going to take time. Motherhood is all consuming especially in the early days. I remember feeling so grateful for my baby but so lost in my own identity especially when it came to my creative needs and ambitions. I had to fight for them. That's a big reason why I started this Substack—to help me keep writing even through motherhood. I've published something at least once a week for over a year, and let me tell you, it's never easy, but the consistency is vital for me. I feel like if I didn't have this Substack months and months, maybe years. would go by without me really sitting down to write something. Time is moving so fast and this is the only place where I can slow it down. I appreciate you reading my words. I hope you find your way back to art in a way that brings you ease both as an artist and as a mother.
Thank you so much for the kind words Jessy, and the encouragement. I'm definitely in that place right now where my old patterns and routines for creativity don't fit my new life. It's like trying to put on a sweater that's suddenly become too small. I'm not to the place yet of building consistency back into my routine, but I can recognize that that's something I'd like to do in future. My interest in Substack is actually really similar, I feel like this could be a good place to get myself back into the habit of writing even if it's just in a small way.
"Trying to put on a sweater that's suddenly become too small" — such a beautiful and true way to put it. It's taken me a long time to build consistency and even now, it's still a struggle. I question everything I do and if its worth it ya know? Worth the time it takes away from my son. It almost never is but still, I do it, because I need to still feel like me. I need to convince myself that I still matter. And writing helps me do that.
Ooof yes. I completely understand that feeling. I'm reevaluating all my goals and ambitions, because I've realized that they don't matter more than raising him well. But I also still care about them at the same time. It's a confusing time, full of paradoxes.
Read this Mother's Day evening, sitting beside my boy while he chatted and splashed in his bath. Maybe it's just the summer weather encroaching, or the inevitable losses that go with raising baby farm animals, or the fact that everything feels like it hits extra deep all day every day, but every time I open your latest essay I end up with tears in my eyes. You touch those intimate little details of what it is to meet and mother yourself as you mother your child, and I love coming here and recognizing what I already know in my own experience and having it rounded out with the perfect, unique elements of your own.
Wow, thank you. This means a lot, love. "To meet and mother yourself as you mother your child" - what a beautiful way to describe this time in our lives. I appreciate you reading my words and I'm grateful that you find something here that resonates with your experience. This piece was surprisingly hard to write, especially the AFTER, for reasons I'm not quite sure of. Maybe not enough time has passed for me to truly see how much I've changed since becoming a mother, maybe because I am still in the AFTER, but I am trying to celebrate this new identity while also honoring who I once was.
I’ve been wanting to write my way through the transition into motherhood, but it’s incredibly hard sometimes. Writing crystallizes the emotions instead of letting them swirl and eddy. You have to acknowledge the truths when you write about them.
Yes, exactly. It exposes the truth, which for me, releases the weight of them. It's in the knowing them that I find relief.
You are such an epic writer. Your writing is so clear and crisp. I continue to find it so incredibly difficult to write about motherhood now 2.5 years later. I don’t know why. But when I sit down to write I find that there’s just too much, it’s overwhelming. You perfectly captured the profound pain & beauty of motherhood. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Wow, thank you. That means a lot. I don't know how not to write about it, y'know? It consumes me. Sometimes I think maybe I write about it too much and maybe this is what it looks like to lose yourself in motherhood. But it's in the writing where I will find myself again, the present me, the woman I am becoming, and the past me, and I believe this letter is getting me that much closer. I'm so glad it resonated with you. Thank you for writing and for reading.
Oh this is so so beautiful! I can feel so many of the words deep in my being. Xxx
Aw, thank you for reading. I'm happy to hear that this piece touched you. It felt important for me to write it. Thank you for being here.
I gave birth to my son five weeks ago - this poem perfectly captures the contradiction of feelings around my creative passions that I’m feeling as a mother.
Wow, five weeks. Congratulations! The early days are both brutal and beautiful, often at the same time. You will get to your passions again. It's just going to take time. Motherhood is all consuming especially in the early days. I remember feeling so grateful for my baby but so lost in my own identity especially when it came to my creative needs and ambitions. I had to fight for them. That's a big reason why I started this Substack—to help me keep writing even through motherhood. I've published something at least once a week for over a year, and let me tell you, it's never easy, but the consistency is vital for me. I feel like if I didn't have this Substack months and months, maybe years. would go by without me really sitting down to write something. Time is moving so fast and this is the only place where I can slow it down. I appreciate you reading my words. I hope you find your way back to art in a way that brings you ease both as an artist and as a mother.
Thank you so much for the kind words Jessy, and the encouragement. I'm definitely in that place right now where my old patterns and routines for creativity don't fit my new life. It's like trying to put on a sweater that's suddenly become too small. I'm not to the place yet of building consistency back into my routine, but I can recognize that that's something I'd like to do in future. My interest in Substack is actually really similar, I feel like this could be a good place to get myself back into the habit of writing even if it's just in a small way.
"Trying to put on a sweater that's suddenly become too small" — such a beautiful and true way to put it. It's taken me a long time to build consistency and even now, it's still a struggle. I question everything I do and if its worth it ya know? Worth the time it takes away from my son. It almost never is but still, I do it, because I need to still feel like me. I need to convince myself that I still matter. And writing helps me do that.
Ooof yes. I completely understand that feeling. I'm reevaluating all my goals and ambitions, because I've realized that they don't matter more than raising him well. But I also still care about them at the same time. It's a confusing time, full of paradoxes.
Yessss. Paradox is the perfect word to describe it.
This is so beautiful. I am sharing with my two to-be mama friends <3
Aw thank you so much, Tyler. I appreciate you.