You are inspiring, Jessy. I finally had the guts to write about the impact my childhood (and early adulthood) and published my first book in 2024. But I could only address the impact those three family suicides had on me in that book - I still don’t have the bravery you clearly had to write about the childhood that led to two of the three of those deaths. Similar to your siblings, I have a brother who blocked most traumatic stuff out, and a sister who like me remembers every detail. And unfortunately my youngest brother who was most affected, who died by suicide in 2022, who can’t talk about anything now. My point??? I’m as envious of you to put all this out there as I am proud of you. You are helping people in your writings.
Wow, I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. Three family suicides—that’s an unfathomable weight to carry. And yet, here you are, writing through it, finding the courage to tell even part of your story. That takes an immense amount of bravery, whether it feels like it or not. Is there somewhere I can read your book?
I don’t think there’s a right way or a right time to tell the hardest parts. Just the fact that you wrote and published your book is huge. That’s survival. That’s strength. And if the rest of your story ever feels ready to be told, you’ll know. But even if it doesn’t, you’re honoring it in your own way.
Thank you for sharing this with me. And for being here. I see you. And I’m sending you so much love.
You’re so nice - the love is reciprocal, my friend. The books on Amazon, but I have an excerpt here on SS that I can link. And if I read correctly that you have not yet put your book out then I would be happy to share my experience of the important things to look for when you publish that book of yours. I learned a lot, and there are certainly things I would’ve done differently. Your story is so important and it is clear that it will resonate with so many people, so I hope you make that happen. For yourself certainly. But for others as well.
Thanks for sharing! I left a comment on your piece, and I’d love to hear how it all went for you. I’m publishing the prologue on March 6, and honestly—I have no idea what I’m doing, haha. Just following the pull to share this story.
Jessy, I’m flabbergasted your memoir didn’t sell, but I am so glad you are sharing it here. Even just this intro was gripping and heartbreaking and real. I am in the midst of writing my own memoir now, and while I’m writing as honestly as I can, there are parts of my story that I worry will hurt others when they see how they have hurt me (gosh, that people-pleading tendency runs deep). Thank you for your courage in sharing and your devotion to your craft. I can’t wait to follow along with your story.
Thank you so much. Your support means the world to me. I completely understand that fear. Writing memoir requires a kind of honesty that can feel both freeing and terrifying, especially when it comes to the people in our lives. I’ve wrestled with that same worry, and what’s helped me is remembering that telling my truth isn’t about blame—it’s about making sense of my own experience. You deserve to tell your story in the way that feels right for you. Sending you so much encouragement as you write. Your story matters, and I hope to read it one day. Happy to dive in more about this as you keep writing. Always here to help.
This is a brilliant idea to share your memoir on this platform. I hope publishing in this way helps you reach the audience you seek and the peace you desire.
Kudos! People want your story even if traditional publishing doesn’t. Same here. No more gatekeepers! 👌🏼I’d love to consider an original essay (not an excerpt) for my Voices On Addiction Column at The Rumpus.
Thank you so much—I'm truly honored to be considered! I actually have an essay that might be the perfect fit for Voices On Addiction. Let me know how I can submit, and I’d love to share it with you. Excited for the possibility!
This is so poignant! And don’t be sorry for choosing love as the anchor of your story. So did Tara Westover and, even though it frustrated me no end, her book sold bucketloads. Besides, love can never be the wrong anchor! For anything! ❤️
Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear it. Love was the only anchor that made sense to me—then and now. Even when it feels too soft, too quiet, it’s still the thing that holds it all together.
Ironically, an agent once compared my memoir to Educated, but used it as a reason why she couldn’t represent it. She told me the market was already “oversaturated” with stories of families on the fringes of society. Sigh. But here I am, telling it anyway. Because love isn’t just the anchor—it’s the reason I kept going.
It pisses me off that the publishing industry's point of view is so reductionist and often times they have been proven wrong. Good for you for putting it out there! Evey story deserves to be told and heard, no matter what agents say! I'm rooting for you :)
Thank you so much! The industry can feel so limiting, but I’ve realized that no one gets to decide the worth of my story except me. The support here has meant everything—it’s already reaching the people who need it most, and that’s what truly matters. I appreciate you rooting for me more than I can say!
Ahh, that would be wild! Just getting this story out into the world already feels huge—but a movie? That’s definitely the dream. I won’t lie, I’ve imagined it. Thank you for believing in it!
Ahh, thank you! That means so much. It’s been a long road to getting this story out into the world, and I’m so grateful for the support along the way. Excited to finally share it with you!
i’m so grateful i’ve just found you! really looking forward to reading your story and your thoughts on forgiveness and family. from one survivor to another: thank you for sharing your story 🖤
This means so much—thank you. I’m so glad you found your way here. There’s something powerful about connecting with other survivors, about knowing we’re not alone in these messy, complicated stories of family and forgiveness. Grateful to have you here. Are you sharing your story on Substack?
you’re such a gem ❤️🩹 my Substack is a weird little mix of poems, journal entries, DBT skills and unsolicited music recommendations - so I guess…kinda but in a completely random way haha
music never fails to turn any bad day around 🥰 i‘m in a big Chino Moreno mood right now - so lots of Deftones and Crosses… if you’re into this kind of music, i definitely recommend listening to Crosses‘ debut record - „The Epilogue“ will forever be an instant goosebumps kinda song 🖤
I would love to subscribe but followed my husband to a new job abroad and currently have no income. I’d be very grateful if you’d consider one of the $20/yr subs for me if there are any available. Your story sounds fascinating, devastating and inspiring and everyone’s story deserves to be heard.
Of course, love—send me a message, and I’ll send you a discount link. I’m so sorry you’re in this position right now—moving to a new place, navigating change, and being without income is so hard. I’d be honored to have you here, and I hope my story brings you something—comfort, connection, or even just the reminder that you’re not alone. Sending you love.
Wow. What an immense, intense, inspiring journey of resilience and alchemy…finding the gold of love and authorship of your life. Damn. I’m deeply moved especially by what you shared about forgiveness. 🙏
Wow, thank you. That means so much. It’s been a long, messy, complicated road, but writing has helped me make sense of it—or at least given me a place to hold the questions. Forgiveness is such a tangled thing, and for me, it felt like the only way forward. But I don’t think it has to be that way for everyone. And maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe there are other ways to heal, to move through, to make peace with the past. Grateful to have you here.
And again, I appreciate what you are saying about forgiveness… the way you’re saying that: like one big permission slip to let that be such a personal exploration and not a blank statement of the way it should be. I’m grateful to be here too!
Oh my gosh, the whole thing about writing giving you a place to hold the questions? I so resonate with that and I feel like that right there is a beautiful brilliant piece of wisdom that wants to be unpacked in a future post. Just saying! And if you write it, I wanna read it!
Ahh, thank you! That means so much. Writing has always been less about finding answers for me and more about having a place to hold the questions—turn them over, sit with them, see what they have to teach me. I love that this resonated with you, and now you’ve got me thinking… maybe I *do* need to write about this more. Stay tuned. And if you ever write about it too, I’d love to read your take!
I can honestly say there hasn’t been a dull moment—except for the endless hours spent waiting in prison visiting wards. In that case, there have been more dull moments than I can count. 🫠
Well done, Jessy. You have a strong voice and a riveting story. Once upon a time, these strengths were enough to sell a memoir. My next, if there is one, will be placed with a micro-press, no agent required. And DIY, as you probably know, has lost the taint of amateurism. Great stories still find their way to the world.
Jessy, I know I am a little late to the party, but I just wanted you to know I am honored to be here, reading your story, your lived experience. I know how hard it is to access and release all of the things we keep bottled up, and I (yes, a stranger, but also a fellow traveler) am so proud of you for doing the work to release it, word by word.
You are inspiring, Jessy. I finally had the guts to write about the impact my childhood (and early adulthood) and published my first book in 2024. But I could only address the impact those three family suicides had on me in that book - I still don’t have the bravery you clearly had to write about the childhood that led to two of the three of those deaths. Similar to your siblings, I have a brother who blocked most traumatic stuff out, and a sister who like me remembers every detail. And unfortunately my youngest brother who was most affected, who died by suicide in 2022, who can’t talk about anything now. My point??? I’m as envious of you to put all this out there as I am proud of you. You are helping people in your writings.
Wow, I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. Three family suicides—that’s an unfathomable weight to carry. And yet, here you are, writing through it, finding the courage to tell even part of your story. That takes an immense amount of bravery, whether it feels like it or not. Is there somewhere I can read your book?
I don’t think there’s a right way or a right time to tell the hardest parts. Just the fact that you wrote and published your book is huge. That’s survival. That’s strength. And if the rest of your story ever feels ready to be told, you’ll know. But even if it doesn’t, you’re honoring it in your own way.
Thank you for sharing this with me. And for being here. I see you. And I’m sending you so much love.
You’re so nice - the love is reciprocal, my friend. The books on Amazon, but I have an excerpt here on SS that I can link. And if I read correctly that you have not yet put your book out then I would be happy to share my experience of the important things to look for when you publish that book of yours. I learned a lot, and there are certainly things I would’ve done differently. Your story is so important and it is clear that it will resonate with so many people, so I hope you make that happen. For yourself certainly. But for others as well.
https://open.substack.com/pub/thesecretstruggle/p/the-shame-caused-by-my-fathers-suicide?r=2jul3t&utm_medium=ios
Thanks for sharing! I left a comment on your piece, and I’d love to hear how it all went for you. I’m publishing the prologue on March 6, and honestly—I have no idea what I’m doing, haha. Just following the pull to share this story.
I’ll be looking for it on 03/06. 💚
Jessy, I’m flabbergasted your memoir didn’t sell, but I am so glad you are sharing it here. Even just this intro was gripping and heartbreaking and real. I am in the midst of writing my own memoir now, and while I’m writing as honestly as I can, there are parts of my story that I worry will hurt others when they see how they have hurt me (gosh, that people-pleading tendency runs deep). Thank you for your courage in sharing and your devotion to your craft. I can’t wait to follow along with your story.
Thank you so much. Your support means the world to me. I completely understand that fear. Writing memoir requires a kind of honesty that can feel both freeing and terrifying, especially when it comes to the people in our lives. I’ve wrestled with that same worry, and what’s helped me is remembering that telling my truth isn’t about blame—it’s about making sense of my own experience. You deserve to tell your story in the way that feels right for you. Sending you so much encouragement as you write. Your story matters, and I hope to read it one day. Happy to dive in more about this as you keep writing. Always here to help.
Thank you 💛 I so appreciate that and feel grateful to be in community with people who are courageously sharing their stories and encouraging others!
This is a brilliant idea to share your memoir on this platform. I hope publishing in this way helps you reach the audience you seek and the peace you desire.
Thank you so much. That means a lot. Publishing this way already feels like the right path—one rooted in connection, community, and creative freedom.
Kudos! People want your story even if traditional publishing doesn’t. Same here. No more gatekeepers! 👌🏼I’d love to consider an original essay (not an excerpt) for my Voices On Addiction Column at The Rumpus.
Thank you so much—I'm truly honored to be considered! I actually have an essay that might be the perfect fit for Voices On Addiction. Let me know how I can submit, and I’d love to share it with you. Excited for the possibility!
Fantastic! Sent you a DM!
I can't wait to follow alongside your journey!
Noe again I saw your post disregarding the photo or name to know who's writing and I was instantly captured.
We live and learn, what you've been through made you who you are today. Keep pushing, be you and smile!
Happy Substacking Substackers! 😊
Thank you! Appreciate you, Chase.
This is so poignant! And don’t be sorry for choosing love as the anchor of your story. So did Tara Westover and, even though it frustrated me no end, her book sold bucketloads. Besides, love can never be the wrong anchor! For anything! ❤️
Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear it. Love was the only anchor that made sense to me—then and now. Even when it feels too soft, too quiet, it’s still the thing that holds it all together.
Ironically, an agent once compared my memoir to Educated, but used it as a reason why she couldn’t represent it. She told me the market was already “oversaturated” with stories of families on the fringes of society. Sigh. But here I am, telling it anyway. Because love isn’t just the anchor—it’s the reason I kept going.
It pisses me off that the publishing industry's point of view is so reductionist and often times they have been proven wrong. Good for you for putting it out there! Evey story deserves to be told and heard, no matter what agents say! I'm rooting for you :)
Thank you so much! The industry can feel so limiting, but I’ve realized that no one gets to decide the worth of my story except me. The support here has meant everything—it’s already reaching the people who need it most, and that’s what truly matters. I appreciate you rooting for me more than I can say!
I hope you get a movie deal.
Ahh, that would be wild! Just getting this story out into the world already feels huge—but a movie? That’s definitely the dream. I won’t lie, I’ve imagined it. Thank you for believing in it!
So excited for this. Your story deserves to be told!
Ahh, thank you! That means so much. It’s been a long road to getting this story out into the world, and I’m so grateful for the support along the way. Excited to finally share it with you!
i’m so grateful i’ve just found you! really looking forward to reading your story and your thoughts on forgiveness and family. from one survivor to another: thank you for sharing your story 🖤
This means so much—thank you. I’m so glad you found your way here. There’s something powerful about connecting with other survivors, about knowing we’re not alone in these messy, complicated stories of family and forgiveness. Grateful to have you here. Are you sharing your story on Substack?
you’re such a gem ❤️🩹 my Substack is a weird little mix of poems, journal entries, DBT skills and unsolicited music recommendations - so I guess…kinda but in a completely random way haha
haha the perfect mix! What are you listening to right now?
music never fails to turn any bad day around 🥰 i‘m in a big Chino Moreno mood right now - so lots of Deftones and Crosses… if you’re into this kind of music, i definitely recommend listening to Crosses‘ debut record - „The Epilogue“ will forever be an instant goosebumps kinda song 🖤
Def love some Deftones. Thanks for the rec, love!
I would love to subscribe but followed my husband to a new job abroad and currently have no income. I’d be very grateful if you’d consider one of the $20/yr subs for me if there are any available. Your story sounds fascinating, devastating and inspiring and everyone’s story deserves to be heard.
Of course, love—send me a message, and I’ll send you a discount link. I’m so sorry you’re in this position right now—moving to a new place, navigating change, and being without income is so hard. I’d be honored to have you here, and I hope my story brings you something—comfort, connection, or even just the reminder that you’re not alone. Sending you love.
I’m such a noob I couldn’t figure out how to send you a DM. 🤣 I’m actually really enjoying my new country but my savings are dwindling away. 😭
Sent it to you, love. And I hear you. I'm in country I was born in and my savings are still dwindling away lol. Times are tough.
Good intro, I just subbed! Excited to read your next!
Thank you so much! Excited to share more with you, and I hope the story resonates. Appreciate your support!
Wow. What an immense, intense, inspiring journey of resilience and alchemy…finding the gold of love and authorship of your life. Damn. I’m deeply moved especially by what you shared about forgiveness. 🙏
Wow, thank you. That means so much. It’s been a long, messy, complicated road, but writing has helped me make sense of it—or at least given me a place to hold the questions. Forgiveness is such a tangled thing, and for me, it felt like the only way forward. But I don’t think it has to be that way for everyone. And maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe there are other ways to heal, to move through, to make peace with the past. Grateful to have you here.
And again, I appreciate what you are saying about forgiveness… the way you’re saying that: like one big permission slip to let that be such a personal exploration and not a blank statement of the way it should be. I’m grateful to be here too!
Oh, absolutely. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, and I think giving ourselves permission to explore it on our own terms is so important.
Oh my gosh, the whole thing about writing giving you a place to hold the questions? I so resonate with that and I feel like that right there is a beautiful brilliant piece of wisdom that wants to be unpacked in a future post. Just saying! And if you write it, I wanna read it!
Ahh, thank you! That means so much. Writing has always been less about finding answers for me and more about having a place to hold the questions—turn them over, sit with them, see what they have to teach me. I love that this resonated with you, and now you’ve got me thinking… maybe I *do* need to write about this more. Stay tuned. And if you ever write about it too, I’d love to read your take!
🙏👍🙌
What a fascinating story!!!
I can honestly say there hasn’t been a dull moment—except for the endless hours spent waiting in prison visiting wards. In that case, there have been more dull moments than I can count. 🫠
Well done, Jessy. You have a strong voice and a riveting story. Once upon a time, these strengths were enough to sell a memoir. My next, if there is one, will be placed with a micro-press, no agent required. And DIY, as you probably know, has lost the taint of amateurism. Great stories still find their way to the world.
Jessy, I know I am a little late to the party, but I just wanted you to know I am honored to be here, reading your story, your lived experience. I know how hard it is to access and release all of the things we keep bottled up, and I (yes, a stranger, but also a fellow traveler) am so proud of you for doing the work to release it, word by word.