This is so beautiful. I’ve been crying a lot lately… because of death, because of chapters coming to an end and new ones beginning, because I’ve been a snappy irritable Mum, because I love my babies so damn much, because I’m frustrated, because I’m so anxious my heart beat feels like it will burst out of my chest, because I’m exhausted and don’t know how to get through each day on such broken sleep (still), because I had such a pang of nostalgia watching Mary Poppins when Sophia asked to see it… the tears are flowing more freely now and it does feel good. Sometimes they get stuck and I feel numb again, but more often now tears leak from my eyes and it feels good!
I adore this idea of the list… on mine would be doing handstands in the swimming pool, horse riding for hours without a mobile phone, paddling in the stream, eating orange flavoured ice lollies, making potions in the garden, bike rides, going to France and eating croissants and French bread with strawberry jam, strawberry picking… sure there is more but that’s what is coming.
This is so beautiful, Lauren. Thank you for sharing. Chapters closing and opening is always a hard one for me, too. I hope you get to do some, if not all, of these things this summer, and I can't wait to hear more. xo
One of my favorites, too! I remember doing this in my grandmother's pool in California. The hot pavement, the scent of chlorine, blue everywhere from California's cloudless skies—what a memory.
Loved reading all of this. Thank you for sharing so openly. My list: catching toads (inevitably having them pee on my hand), laying like a lizard on the hot blacktop of my driveway, slathering myself in hawaiian tropic oil (spf4 lol), burgers on the charcoal grill, gushers, block island with my best friends family (Im actually going back this year!!!), laying with my dog in the grass, following bobcats down the driveway, climbing out my window and watching fireworks on my roof, moose tracks ice cream, dells frozen lemonade, checking the pool drains for creatures I can save, sitting and thinking, observing the natural world in complete silence. That felt good, Jessy. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing, Leigh. Ahhh toads! I remember doing this as a kid when we'd spend out summers in Michigan. They were leopard frogs and yeah, they'd always pee in my hand haha. Thanks for bringing this memory to the surface. OMG. Hawaiian Tropic. I can still smell it. What was it about Gushers that was so damn amazing to a kid? My brother and I couldn't get enough. I love your whole list and can relate to so much of it.
I cry a lot too. Happy and sad. I think crying is a form of magic in and of itself.
My list:
- Collecting seashells
- Reading
- BBQs with my (at the time) close-knit family
- Crawfishing in the ditch
- Sports
- Divorced dad rock
- Making clubhouses in the woods
- Swimming, the taste of chlorine
- Riding four-wheelers
- Turning all the lights off and playing hide and seek in the house at night
- Scrapbooking
- Being alone, enjoying solitude
- Coding my Myspace
- Fingernails full of dirt
- Everything about a trampoline: jumping off the roof, getting it wet and putting Dawn all over it to make it slippery, learning backflips, double-bouncing, playing Crack the Egg (I actually just bought a trampoline for myself at 31 years old and have been jumping every single day)
- Coloring with chalk
- Playing mermaids
- Watching the airplanes in Nana's backyard
- Trying to make that whistle noise with a blade of grass
- Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape
- Fern Gully
- The adrenaline rush of being pushed high on the tire swing
- Roasting marshmallows to a crisp
- Shooting beer cans with a BB gun
- Making potions with beads of dirt, flowers, leaves
- Getting Baskin Robbins every time we went to Walmart
Thanks for sharing your list, Tyler. What a sensory memory trip to read it all through. The taste of chlorine brought me right back to childhood and playing mermaids and myspace and grass whistling and Ferngully (so impactful) and Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape. What a list.
I love your list and the idea that we can declare an "inner child summer." I cry for beauty too, largely because as a highly-sensitive child, I listened to my mother yell, "Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about," whenever the tears spilled forth. Here's to mothering—beautifully.
Thanks for reading, Sue Ann. Isn't it beautiful that we can cry whenever we want over whatever we want now in adulthood? I never realized how much crying would feel like a privilege.
My list would include: going on a nature hike and collecting interesting rocks and leaves, drawing with sidewalk chalk, & perhaps star gazing without the need to take photos.
This essay is so deeply touching and beautifully written. Your honesty and vulnerability shine through every word, making the emotions and experiences feel so real and relatable!
I’m crying a lot too, for similar reasons. Summers are so important to me- they wake me up. We do a LOt of beach days, swimming pools, dinners on the patio, music filling the house, painting, planting, scattering seeds around town to see if they bloom, eating tons of fresh fruit, ice cream, and car trips
Yes to all of this. Summers are so important, aren't they? Every year they feel like another chance to make the most of it, whatever it is. Thank you for sharing, Maggie.
This is so beautiful. I’ve been crying a lot lately… because of death, because of chapters coming to an end and new ones beginning, because I’ve been a snappy irritable Mum, because I love my babies so damn much, because I’m frustrated, because I’m so anxious my heart beat feels like it will burst out of my chest, because I’m exhausted and don’t know how to get through each day on such broken sleep (still), because I had such a pang of nostalgia watching Mary Poppins when Sophia asked to see it… the tears are flowing more freely now and it does feel good. Sometimes they get stuck and I feel numb again, but more often now tears leak from my eyes and it feels good!
I adore this idea of the list… on mine would be doing handstands in the swimming pool, horse riding for hours without a mobile phone, paddling in the stream, eating orange flavoured ice lollies, making potions in the garden, bike rides, going to France and eating croissants and French bread with strawberry jam, strawberry picking… sure there is more but that’s what is coming.
Thank you for the invitation. Xxx
This is so beautiful, Lauren. Thank you for sharing. Chapters closing and opening is always a hard one for me, too. I hope you get to do some, if not all, of these things this summer, and I can't wait to hear more. xo
handstands in the swimming pool <3
One of my favorites, too! I remember doing this in my grandmother's pool in California. The hot pavement, the scent of chlorine, blue everywhere from California's cloudless skies—what a memory.
Loved reading all of this. Thank you for sharing so openly. My list: catching toads (inevitably having them pee on my hand), laying like a lizard on the hot blacktop of my driveway, slathering myself in hawaiian tropic oil (spf4 lol), burgers on the charcoal grill, gushers, block island with my best friends family (Im actually going back this year!!!), laying with my dog in the grass, following bobcats down the driveway, climbing out my window and watching fireworks on my roof, moose tracks ice cream, dells frozen lemonade, checking the pool drains for creatures I can save, sitting and thinking, observing the natural world in complete silence. That felt good, Jessy. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing, Leigh. Ahhh toads! I remember doing this as a kid when we'd spend out summers in Michigan. They were leopard frogs and yeah, they'd always pee in my hand haha. Thanks for bringing this memory to the surface. OMG. Hawaiian Tropic. I can still smell it. What was it about Gushers that was so damn amazing to a kid? My brother and I couldn't get enough. I love your whole list and can relate to so much of it.
I cry a lot too. Happy and sad. I think crying is a form of magic in and of itself.
My list:
- Collecting seashells
- Reading
- BBQs with my (at the time) close-knit family
- Crawfishing in the ditch
- Sports
- Divorced dad rock
- Making clubhouses in the woods
- Swimming, the taste of chlorine
- Riding four-wheelers
- Turning all the lights off and playing hide and seek in the house at night
- Scrapbooking
- Being alone, enjoying solitude
- Coding my Myspace
- Fingernails full of dirt
- Everything about a trampoline: jumping off the roof, getting it wet and putting Dawn all over it to make it slippery, learning backflips, double-bouncing, playing Crack the Egg (I actually just bought a trampoline for myself at 31 years old and have been jumping every single day)
- Coloring with chalk
- Playing mermaids
- Watching the airplanes in Nana's backyard
- Trying to make that whistle noise with a blade of grass
- Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape
- Fern Gully
- The adrenaline rush of being pushed high on the tire swing
- Roasting marshmallows to a crisp
- Shooting beer cans with a BB gun
- Making potions with beads of dirt, flowers, leaves
- Getting Baskin Robbins every time we went to Walmart
- The feeling of "home"
Thanks for sharing your list, Tyler. What a sensory memory trip to read it all through. The taste of chlorine brought me right back to childhood and playing mermaids and myspace and grass whistling and Ferngully (so impactful) and Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape. What a list.
I love your list and the idea that we can declare an "inner child summer." I cry for beauty too, largely because as a highly-sensitive child, I listened to my mother yell, "Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about," whenever the tears spilled forth. Here's to mothering—beautifully.
Thanks for reading, Sue Ann. Isn't it beautiful that we can cry whenever we want over whatever we want now in adulthood? I never realized how much crying would feel like a privilege.
Yes! To be 'moved' to tears, quite lovely. ;-)
My list would include: going on a nature hike and collecting interesting rocks and leaves, drawing with sidewalk chalk, & perhaps star gazing without the need to take photos.
This essay is so deeply touching and beautifully written. Your honesty and vulnerability shine through every word, making the emotions and experiences feel so real and relatable!
Ahh yes, star gazing. I do this so often, but I should definitely add it to my list as a reminder of all the things I love.
Thank you! It spilled out all at once haha as these things often do. I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
I’m crying a lot too, for similar reasons. Summers are so important to me- they wake me up. We do a LOt of beach days, swimming pools, dinners on the patio, music filling the house, painting, planting, scattering seeds around town to see if they bloom, eating tons of fresh fruit, ice cream, and car trips
Yes to all of this. Summers are so important, aren't they? Every year they feel like another chance to make the most of it, whatever it is. Thank you for sharing, Maggie.