Thank you, Grant. As someone who felt similar as a child and became a "cutter" in my teens - your words felt like a calm, steady hand on my shoulder. My experience involved even more trauma and drama when I was "found out". The school district, CPS, psychiatrists and court-ordered everything added pressure to a valve that was already impossible to contain. There was nowhere to get relief. I left home as soon as I could and found any and everything to "numb" out. I quit drinking almost 6 years ago (best.decision.ever) and as some know - everything changes. Relationships. Priorities. Coping tools. Anticipatory anxiety got the best of me earlier this year while dealing with loss/grief. My self-soothing became self-harm and I have developed trichotillomania. Something I had never heard of. It's been rough. BUT "we are only as sick as our stories" - I have begun talking about this experience very recently and it feels like a weight has been lifted.
"A calm, steady hand on my shoulder..." omg, yes, Breann. That's how I felt through the whole piece. I felt my whole body exhale, like YES. FINALLY. I felt like I was being witnessed. I've had these thoughts since prob late elementary and still do, and was also a cutter in my teens. But unlike your story, my finding out only consisted of my mom noticing the cuts and saying, "What the fuck is that?" and having a whole little rage sesh over it, but that's as far as it went. I’m so sorry that when you were “found out,” the response added even more fear, pressure, and shame to something that was already so hard to hold. You deserved to be met with safety and care. I hope you have the kind of support around you now that allows you to speak about what you’re experiencing without being shamed or treated like a problem to solve.
“Share it, don’t shame it” is so damn powerful. Your honesty here will certainly be the calm, steady hand on someone else’s shoulder that Grant’s words were for you and for me. Thank you for continuing that circle of truth and witness. So grateful to know you, love.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Jessy, and thanks again, Breann. I'm so glad that my story resonated in such a way. These self-destructive urges are such a mysterious part of human existence, especially going back to childhood—and how does one express such a thing, really. The "rage sesh" you mention, Jessy, or some other kind of unwelcome sesh, is too much of a risk. Let's make bumper stickers, coffee mugs, etc., with "Share it, don't shame it."
🥹 thank you, Jessy. Currently my overwhelm of emotions from your and Grant's heartspace are blocking the right words. Forgive me. I have a very, tiny circle of support but I protect it fiercely. I have been in a transition of life where there have been far too many goodbyes. I'm truly grateful to have found the space you created with such beautiful, amazing, resilient souls. All of you. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you🩷
Thanks so much for sharing this, Breann—and thanks for your mantra, "share it, don't shame it." It's so true. I'm trying to do the same, especially with this piece. I hope your sharing relieves you of your weight. I know it will do even more than that.
A powerful piece of writing, Grant. What I love about this is all the perspectives I hadn't considered. Suicidal ideation is as layered and nuanced as a the person who's having them. The gift of these personal pieces is that they open a portal to the person writing, but also to all the people we know (perhaps ourselves included) who have similar dispositions or thoughts or experiences. We always talk about how it promotes or breeds empathy, and I took away a much-needed gem in here about someone I love. So you helped me understand something better. Thank you for this writing, and for sharing. And for modeling! And thanks, Jessy. Can't wait to have you on Memoir Nation.
Thanks so much for reading and for your words, Brooke. I'm glad there was a gem in here. From what I've read, a significant number of people are "wired" this way, yet it's largely a topic that isn't truly spoken about.
I also can't wait to talk with Jessy about her memoir, this whole series, and more, so I know there are more gems to come.
You know, I’ve been so close to giving up on Substack because of the flood of people promoting themselves as a brand, and I’m so glad I didn’t, just so I could read this piece by Grant. It is so good, so unflinching, so counter-capitalism at its core. This is why we write. And read.
Oh, Jennifer, thanks so much. I really appreciate your comment. I always say that so many of the craft tools writers are taught aren't the most important for connection in a story because vulnerability creates connection. It takes a lot of practice to be vulnerable, at least for me. Your words certainly help me open the door.
I created a substack 2 years ago but it felt "off"- like a level of gatekeeping i still don't quite understand. Which = fluff in my mind. Just this year i started finding the "real" folks. Glad i did.
Thanks for sharing this, Grant. I appreciate the distinction between wanting relief and wanting death. I am wondering about the present more than the past. You mention that medication dramatically reduced the suicidal ideation, but I'm curious how you relate to those thoughts today. If they still arise occasionally, do you experience them differently now? Has writing this memoir changed your relationship to them? And if someone has lived with similar thoughts for years, what would you tell them—not just telling them your story, but about living with those thoughts day to day? Thanks
I only started taking the medication 18 months or ago, but within months, my brain had changed. I would have never imagined such a thing. The thoughts might arise occasionally, very occasionally, but if so, they’re so weak, so fleeting. I’d tell anyone who has similar thoughts to try anti-depressants, actually.
I cannot thank Grant enough for this piece. I had a Sid long ago. Growing up severely evangelical where not a day went by that I wasn't in church in some form or another while also navigating a militantly sheltered and abusive household - I recognized Garrett for holding the same pain I did. He didn't freak out when my sleeves moved up too far, he showed me his own hamburger meat arms instead. He didn't flinch when I explained that I did it for just a few seconds of thinking about Something Else Other Than Right Now, we talked about where your energy goes after your body is done instead. We were bastions of understanding for each other in a way no one else came close to, in an environment that demanded posturing.
As a young deconstructing rite of passage, at 20 years old I found myself running away with an abusive man ten years my senior who got rid of all my male friends for years until I escaped (again). Garrett decided to take his final breath when we were 23 before I could explain or apologize for disappearing on him, and it's haunted me for 11 years now. I haven't screamed like I did that day before or after. Occasionally I can come up for air and remember it means he's not in pain anymore, and this piece helped me do exactly that. It's been so long since I read this explicit experience in such a beautiful way. Thank you so much. I miss you, Garrett, but I still understand.
Thanks for sharing this, Erika. We all need a Sid/Garrett. I feel like you should write about Garrett. There's so much here. The "same pain" you each held, and the different paths it took.
Wow, Erika. I’ve been connected with you for so long, love, and I’ve never heard even a sliver of this story. It sounds like a memoir waiting to be written and I hope you do. And just know that my somatic writing community, The Inner Room, is open to you if you need support while writing. I would love to hold space for you, for your story. It’s layered and important and I can feel that the world needs it. Thank you so much for opening up here. Sending you love.
I appreciate you Jessy! I've always loved your story because I felt connected to the complicated experience of growing up in chaos - mine is just a different flavor. I've thought about the Inner Room for a while, I don't think I'm quite there yet but just know it's on my mind <3
Quick edit: Funnily enough I found your jewelry company while with the Older Man. He kept trying to get me to pick any old diamond ring to lock me down and I kept putting it off because I was so enamored with your guys' work that we certainly couldn't afford. When I left him, I bought MYSELF one of the large feather rings (that I have since misplaced tragically). Funny how that worked out in the end!
Of course, love. The invitation is always there for you. And OMG - that's wild about connecting through the jewelry co. I'm sorry to hear you lost the ring! DM me, love, and we'll get you sorted out <3
Wow, powerful piece. Glad you finally found a diagnosis and did not succumb to your suicidal thoughts.
The hotline is worthless, at least the one I called 2 years ago. I was evicted from my home of 35 years, then lived in hotels, and rented rooms. When I called the hotline I was at a very low point. The man said, "Why don't you just move?" I was speechless and hung up on him. (I have been trained for crisis hotline work, so this was an outrageous response). At that time I also tried to check myself into a psych ward. The doctor I spoke to for about 5 minutes had her cell phone in hand and left the room for a call, never to return. I learned I would not be placed by a horrible night nurse when I asked what was happening. She also added, "If it weren't so cold out tonight we would have thrown you outside." Our health care system is completely broken. After much introspection and writing I found the way back by myself.....
Thank you for reading, Diane. And for sharing some of your story. I’m so sorry you weren’t met with the care and stability you deserved. I agree the system has failed us time and time again and I don’t see an end in sight. I have seen how little they’ve done for my mother who has been in need of help many times, and how they essentially just threw her out like trash because she was a drug user - as if that made her less worthy of care, less worthy of love. Sigh. It’s all so disheartening. I’m so glad to hear that you were able to me to find what you needed through writing and through yourself. Writing really can be a life-saver. At least it has been for me. Thanks for being here. 🧡
Oh my god, Dianne, these are the worst of stories! I'm so sorry. All of these people are beyond unprofessional, they're uncaring, and uncaring in the most critical of times. I'm glad you were there for yourself.
That's all anyone can do at this point. I did write negative reviews about the hospital. After spending months in a care home (rehab for broken bones from a fall down the stairs in 2020) and experiencing horrible conditions there, I contacted the NY state medical board about what went on there. A year later I rec'd a letter from them stating that an inspector made a surprise visit to the facility and found nothing wrong. Even they didn't care.
Wow. It's amazing how poking around on Substack can lead to reading something of this caliber. I wrote my way through an Eating Disorder, and disclosed the nastiest, grossest parts of my tendencies. While it felt like I was naked in front of a faceless audience, I know it was part of what saved me. Thank you for this reminder, absolutely brilliant.
From what I understand this memoir is not published? I tried to look it up to purchase, but no luck. If there is somewhere I can find it, especially if it is self published, please let me know!
Thanks so much, Amanda! My memoir is actually still in progress. I hope it will be done in the next few months. I appreciate you looking to buy it. I'm also glad that you wrote the hard things yourself--and that writing them helped save yourself. There's an undeniable power in words.
Thank you for sharing, Amanda. And for reading. I’m inspired by your bravery and dedication to write your hard thing.Have you shared your writing about the eating disorder? It really does feel a bit like being naked, doesn’t it? Exposed. But also, free.
What a powerful and important piece, Amanda. I can relate to so much of what you've written about. I had a similar struggle/obsession from middle school into my twenties. Your piece has inspired me to write about it. Thank you.
Loved reading this hard thing. I think that drive to self destruction for me was tied to a desperation to get out of my self and to self loathing. One day I recognized there was nothing wrong with me and no need to leave myself behind. This brought me true relief. Thank you for bringing us this story, Jessie and kudos to Grant for writing it.
Beautiful, Kelly. Yes! I’m so glad you recognized your wholeness and now are helping others recognize theirs. Your work is powerful and important. Thank you for sharing, love.
This digs deep, so deep, and like cutting, wounds well reading this.
Thank you, Grant, for putting your words on the page. It reminds me of much--my life, my kids' lives, my friends'--and how so much of suicidal ideation--and the act itself--simmers in our cells, waiting for release. It's the release part that takes some bravery.
Per usual, you have given me more to gnaw on. And thank you, Jessy, for the interview and forward. You both stand in inspiring truth.
I’m glad you found your way to this piece and that it’s resonating with you. So grateful for Grant’s vulnerability and strength for not just writing the hard thing, but sharing it.
I hold Grant in the highest of esteem. He is a truth seeker and sayer. For a man, his honesty, his vulnerability is quite remarkable, really. I applaud his courage in telling his truth. And to do it without apology or qualification, and like you, Jessy, so eloquently.. I hope that I, one day, can pull my own covers, expose my underbelly without shrinking... I'm running out of time. I better get busy... 🤷🏼♀️
Thank you for this, Jody. I know exactly what you mean about Grant. He's such a gift.
And I just want to say... it's never too late. You don't have to pull all the covers back at once. You can do it one small corner, one small truth at a time. That's how we build the capacity. I'll be rooting for you, love.
I know Grant and consider him a friend and colleague in the world of publishing. First of all, he’s a brilliant writer and even more brilliant human being. Thanks so much for sharing his writing and his story.
Grant, I'm sharing this with a friend who was recently diagnosed with MS. She has been thinking of suicide lately, and does not understand why. I think you answer that question, and it will help her, I'm sure. Glad you've found some relief from cluttering up your beautiful mind with so much pain. It's amazing what we can do when we let go. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you for your openness. There’s so much to relate to here. I must have seen “Ordinary People” fifteen times. Pivotal movie. Best of luck completing your memoir. It’s compelling from the first sentence.
Grant, I wonder if Camus' stance regarding suicide influenced you. "We must imagine Sisyphus happy." I know it resonated with me. That was more convincing to me than the Catholic church's prohibition of suicide as a barrier to heaven.
Yes, I loved “The Myth of Sisyphus.” I think I read it when I was 18 or thereabouts. Much more convincing than God’s judgment. I always wondered about that religious dictum, but then I suppose suicide is quite an affront to God.
Thank you, Grant. As someone who felt similar as a child and became a "cutter" in my teens - your words felt like a calm, steady hand on my shoulder. My experience involved even more trauma and drama when I was "found out". The school district, CPS, psychiatrists and court-ordered everything added pressure to a valve that was already impossible to contain. There was nowhere to get relief. I left home as soon as I could and found any and everything to "numb" out. I quit drinking almost 6 years ago (best.decision.ever) and as some know - everything changes. Relationships. Priorities. Coping tools. Anticipatory anxiety got the best of me earlier this year while dealing with loss/grief. My self-soothing became self-harm and I have developed trichotillomania. Something I had never heard of. It's been rough. BUT "we are only as sick as our stories" - I have begun talking about this experience very recently and it feels like a weight has been lifted.
My new outlook is: "share it, don't shame it."🩷
Thank you for sharing. Truly.
"A calm, steady hand on my shoulder..." omg, yes, Breann. That's how I felt through the whole piece. I felt my whole body exhale, like YES. FINALLY. I felt like I was being witnessed. I've had these thoughts since prob late elementary and still do, and was also a cutter in my teens. But unlike your story, my finding out only consisted of my mom noticing the cuts and saying, "What the fuck is that?" and having a whole little rage sesh over it, but that's as far as it went. I’m so sorry that when you were “found out,” the response added even more fear, pressure, and shame to something that was already so hard to hold. You deserved to be met with safety and care. I hope you have the kind of support around you now that allows you to speak about what you’re experiencing without being shamed or treated like a problem to solve.
“Share it, don’t shame it” is so damn powerful. Your honesty here will certainly be the calm, steady hand on someone else’s shoulder that Grant’s words were for you and for me. Thank you for continuing that circle of truth and witness. So grateful to know you, love.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Jessy, and thanks again, Breann. I'm so glad that my story resonated in such a way. These self-destructive urges are such a mysterious part of human existence, especially going back to childhood—and how does one express such a thing, really. The "rage sesh" you mention, Jessy, or some other kind of unwelcome sesh, is too much of a risk. Let's make bumper stickers, coffee mugs, etc., with "Share it, don't shame it."
Yes! Spread the loving word!!!❤️🩹
🥹 thank you, Jessy. Currently my overwhelm of emotions from your and Grant's heartspace are blocking the right words. Forgive me. I have a very, tiny circle of support but I protect it fiercely. I have been in a transition of life where there have been far too many goodbyes. I'm truly grateful to have found the space you created with such beautiful, amazing, resilient souls. All of you. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you🩷
So happy we're connected, love.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Breann—and thanks for your mantra, "share it, don't shame it." It's so true. I'm trying to do the same, especially with this piece. I hope your sharing relieves you of your weight. I know it will do even more than that.
Thank you for your courage.
A powerful piece of writing, Grant. What I love about this is all the perspectives I hadn't considered. Suicidal ideation is as layered and nuanced as a the person who's having them. The gift of these personal pieces is that they open a portal to the person writing, but also to all the people we know (perhaps ourselves included) who have similar dispositions or thoughts or experiences. We always talk about how it promotes or breeds empathy, and I took away a much-needed gem in here about someone I love. So you helped me understand something better. Thank you for this writing, and for sharing. And for modeling! And thanks, Jessy. Can't wait to have you on Memoir Nation.
Thank you, Brooke! I'm looking forward to connecting with you. Fangirling over you both and everything yall have created.
Thanks so much for reading and for your words, Brooke. I'm glad there was a gem in here. From what I've read, a significant number of people are "wired" this way, yet it's largely a topic that isn't truly spoken about.
I also can't wait to talk with Jessy about her memoir, this whole series, and more, so I know there are more gems to come.
Grant, great writing. The Coda is everything. XO
Thank you Grant for this beautifully written piece. My younger self remembers those voices. I’m looking forward to reading your full memoir.
You know, I’ve been so close to giving up on Substack because of the flood of people promoting themselves as a brand, and I’m so glad I didn’t, just so I could read this piece by Grant. It is so good, so unflinching, so counter-capitalism at its core. This is why we write. And read.
Oh, Jennifer, thanks so much. I really appreciate your comment. I always say that so many of the craft tools writers are taught aren't the most important for connection in a story because vulnerability creates connection. It takes a lot of practice to be vulnerable, at least for me. Your words certainly help me open the door.
I created a substack 2 years ago but it felt "off"- like a level of gatekeeping i still don't quite understand. Which = fluff in my mind. Just this year i started finding the "real" folks. Glad i did.
YES. This is why we write. And read. Beautifully said. So glad you didn't give up on this space. <3
Thanks for sharing this, Grant. I appreciate the distinction between wanting relief and wanting death. I am wondering about the present more than the past. You mention that medication dramatically reduced the suicidal ideation, but I'm curious how you relate to those thoughts today. If they still arise occasionally, do you experience them differently now? Has writing this memoir changed your relationship to them? And if someone has lived with similar thoughts for years, what would you tell them—not just telling them your story, but about living with those thoughts day to day? Thanks
I only started taking the medication 18 months or ago, but within months, my brain had changed. I would have never imagined such a thing. The thoughts might arise occasionally, very occasionally, but if so, they’re so weak, so fleeting. I’d tell anyone who has similar thoughts to try anti-depressants, actually.
Such important questions, James. Thank you for bringing the inquiry here.
I cannot thank Grant enough for this piece. I had a Sid long ago. Growing up severely evangelical where not a day went by that I wasn't in church in some form or another while also navigating a militantly sheltered and abusive household - I recognized Garrett for holding the same pain I did. He didn't freak out when my sleeves moved up too far, he showed me his own hamburger meat arms instead. He didn't flinch when I explained that I did it for just a few seconds of thinking about Something Else Other Than Right Now, we talked about where your energy goes after your body is done instead. We were bastions of understanding for each other in a way no one else came close to, in an environment that demanded posturing.
As a young deconstructing rite of passage, at 20 years old I found myself running away with an abusive man ten years my senior who got rid of all my male friends for years until I escaped (again). Garrett decided to take his final breath when we were 23 before I could explain or apologize for disappearing on him, and it's haunted me for 11 years now. I haven't screamed like I did that day before or after. Occasionally I can come up for air and remember it means he's not in pain anymore, and this piece helped me do exactly that. It's been so long since I read this explicit experience in such a beautiful way. Thank you so much. I miss you, Garrett, but I still understand.
Thanks for sharing this, Erika. We all need a Sid/Garrett. I feel like you should write about Garrett. There's so much here. The "same pain" you each held, and the different paths it took.
Wow, Erika. I’ve been connected with you for so long, love, and I’ve never heard even a sliver of this story. It sounds like a memoir waiting to be written and I hope you do. And just know that my somatic writing community, The Inner Room, is open to you if you need support while writing. I would love to hold space for you, for your story. It’s layered and important and I can feel that the world needs it. Thank you so much for opening up here. Sending you love.
I appreciate you Jessy! I've always loved your story because I felt connected to the complicated experience of growing up in chaos - mine is just a different flavor. I've thought about the Inner Room for a while, I don't think I'm quite there yet but just know it's on my mind <3
Quick edit: Funnily enough I found your jewelry company while with the Older Man. He kept trying to get me to pick any old diamond ring to lock me down and I kept putting it off because I was so enamored with your guys' work that we certainly couldn't afford. When I left him, I bought MYSELF one of the large feather rings (that I have since misplaced tragically). Funny how that worked out in the end!
Of course, love. The invitation is always there for you. And OMG - that's wild about connecting through the jewelry co. I'm sorry to hear you lost the ring! DM me, love, and we'll get you sorted out <3
Wow, powerful piece. Glad you finally found a diagnosis and did not succumb to your suicidal thoughts.
The hotline is worthless, at least the one I called 2 years ago. I was evicted from my home of 35 years, then lived in hotels, and rented rooms. When I called the hotline I was at a very low point. The man said, "Why don't you just move?" I was speechless and hung up on him. (I have been trained for crisis hotline work, so this was an outrageous response). At that time I also tried to check myself into a psych ward. The doctor I spoke to for about 5 minutes had her cell phone in hand and left the room for a call, never to return. I learned I would not be placed by a horrible night nurse when I asked what was happening. She also added, "If it weren't so cold out tonight we would have thrown you outside." Our health care system is completely broken. After much introspection and writing I found the way back by myself.....
Thank you for reading, Diane. And for sharing some of your story. I’m so sorry you weren’t met with the care and stability you deserved. I agree the system has failed us time and time again and I don’t see an end in sight. I have seen how little they’ve done for my mother who has been in need of help many times, and how they essentially just threw her out like trash because she was a drug user - as if that made her less worthy of care, less worthy of love. Sigh. It’s all so disheartening. I’m so glad to hear that you were able to me to find what you needed through writing and through yourself. Writing really can be a life-saver. At least it has been for me. Thanks for being here. 🧡
Oh my god, Dianne, these are the worst of stories! I'm so sorry. All of these people are beyond unprofessional, they're uncaring, and uncaring in the most critical of times. I'm glad you were there for yourself.
That's all anyone can do at this point. I did write negative reviews about the hospital. After spending months in a care home (rehab for broken bones from a fall down the stairs in 2020) and experiencing horrible conditions there, I contacted the NY state medical board about what went on there. A year later I rec'd a letter from them stating that an inspector made a surprise visit to the facility and found nothing wrong. Even they didn't care.
Wow. It's amazing how poking around on Substack can lead to reading something of this caliber. I wrote my way through an Eating Disorder, and disclosed the nastiest, grossest parts of my tendencies. While it felt like I was naked in front of a faceless audience, I know it was part of what saved me. Thank you for this reminder, absolutely brilliant.
From what I understand this memoir is not published? I tried to look it up to purchase, but no luck. If there is somewhere I can find it, especially if it is self published, please let me know!
Thanks so much, Amanda! My memoir is actually still in progress. I hope it will be done in the next few months. I appreciate you looking to buy it. I'm also glad that you wrote the hard things yourself--and that writing them helped save yourself. There's an undeniable power in words.
Thank you for sharing, Amanda. And for reading. I’m inspired by your bravery and dedication to write your hard thing.Have you shared your writing about the eating disorder? It really does feel a bit like being naked, doesn’t it? Exposed. But also, free.
Freedom in nakedness. I love that. And yes! This essay took me over a year to write, if you feel called to read:
https://amandablackwell.substack.com/p/a-sound-that-my-brain-makes
What a powerful and important piece, Amanda. I can relate to so much of what you've written about. I had a similar struggle/obsession from middle school into my twenties. Your piece has inspired me to write about it. Thank you.
Incredible and important. Thank you for putting this out into the world.
Thank you for reading, Jennifer.
Loved reading this hard thing. I think that drive to self destruction for me was tied to a desperation to get out of my self and to self loathing. One day I recognized there was nothing wrong with me and no need to leave myself behind. This brought me true relief. Thank you for bringing us this story, Jessie and kudos to Grant for writing it.
Beautiful, Kelly. Yes! I’m so glad you recognized your wholeness and now are helping others recognize theirs. Your work is powerful and important. Thank you for sharing, love.
Thanks, Jessy. You continue to amaze.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Kelly. I'm so glad you discovered there was no need to leave yourself behind. Self-loathing be damned!
Damned to hell, I say! Thanks, Grant. 🫶
Oh. My.
This digs deep, so deep, and like cutting, wounds well reading this.
Thank you, Grant, for putting your words on the page. It reminds me of much--my life, my kids' lives, my friends'--and how so much of suicidal ideation--and the act itself--simmers in our cells, waiting for release. It's the release part that takes some bravery.
Per usual, you have given me more to gnaw on. And thank you, Jessy, for the interview and forward. You both stand in inspiring truth.
Peace...
Thanks so much! And ... what a perfect way to put it: how the act "simmers in our cells."
I’m glad you found your way to this piece and that it’s resonating with you. So grateful for Grant’s vulnerability and strength for not just writing the hard thing, but sharing it.
I hold Grant in the highest of esteem. He is a truth seeker and sayer. For a man, his honesty, his vulnerability is quite remarkable, really. I applaud his courage in telling his truth. And to do it without apology or qualification, and like you, Jessy, so eloquently.. I hope that I, one day, can pull my own covers, expose my underbelly without shrinking... I'm running out of time. I better get busy... 🤷🏼♀️
Thank you for this, Jody. I know exactly what you mean about Grant. He's such a gift.
And I just want to say... it's never too late. You don't have to pull all the covers back at once. You can do it one small corner, one small truth at a time. That's how we build the capacity. I'll be rooting for you, love.
Thanks so much, Jody! But I see you quite differently—I see you as a truth seeker who is quite willing to "expose your underbelly." So keep writing!
Thank you, Jessy. You’re such a role model lighting a path for us all struggling to write the hard stuff. 🤗🤩
Thank you! That means a lot. I always say that I believe my soul came here to make light out of the darkness and to help others do the same <3
I know Grant and consider him a friend and colleague in the world of publishing. First of all, he’s a brilliant writer and even more brilliant human being. Thanks so much for sharing his writing and his story.
Happy to amplify his voice. His story is so important and much needed.
Thanks so much, Robin! I admire you equally. I appreciate your reading.
Grant, I'm sharing this with a friend who was recently diagnosed with MS. She has been thinking of suicide lately, and does not understand why. I think you answer that question, and it will help her, I'm sure. Glad you've found some relief from cluttering up your beautiful mind with so much pain. It's amazing what we can do when we let go. Thanks for sharing this.
I love seeing the ripple effect of Grant's powerful vulnerability. Thank you, Kathy. Sending love to you and your friend.
Thanks for sharing with your friend, Kathy. I'll wish for the best, and I hope my piece helps in some way.
Thank you for your openness. There’s so much to relate to here. I must have seen “Ordinary People” fifteen times. Pivotal movie. Best of luck completing your memoir. It’s compelling from the first sentence.
Thanks, Jamie. "Ordinary People" is such an important movie to me. I must still watch it once a year.
Grant, I wonder if Camus' stance regarding suicide influenced you. "We must imagine Sisyphus happy." I know it resonated with me. That was more convincing to me than the Catholic church's prohibition of suicide as a barrier to heaven.
Yes, I loved “The Myth of Sisyphus.” I think I read it when I was 18 or thereabouts. Much more convincing than God’s judgment. I always wondered about that religious dictum, but then I suppose suicide is quite an affront to God.