I’m Jessy. I grew up in the Mojave Desert in a meth lab on the edge of nowhere and writing saved my life.
I write about the things we’re not supposed to talk about.
It’s not always pretty, but it’s always real.
AFTER/WORDS is where I write through the wreckage and the reckoning—the truths we’re not supposed to say out loud.
The uncomfortable, sometimes taboo parts of our stories. The ones that live in the body long after the moment has passed. I write about growing up in a meth lab, about birth trauma, about losing and finding myself in motherhood. I write about addiction, forgiveness, rage, yearning, and the complicated love we hold for the people who hurt us.
This is where I process life through writing—sitting with emotions, uncovering truths in the echoes of everything that has shaped my life, and asking the hard questions without easy answers.
It’s also the only place to read (and listen to) my serialized memoir, The One Who Leaves, with new chapters released weekly. The story traces the aftermath of a childhood shaped by addiction, crime, and the kind of love that wounds as much as it protects.
It’s about how my mom robbed over 300 houses. How my dad built a meth lab in our home. How the other kids at school looked at me like my life might rub off on them. How the desert almost swallowed my family whole. How my mother shared a prison cell with a member of the Manson cult. How our home was filled with addicts who drifted in and out like ghosts. And how love and chaos were always knotted together, impossible to untangle.
But at its core, it’s about survival. It’s about what we inherit, what we carry, what we choose to break free from—and who we become, both because of and despite a mother’s love.
If you’re just finding me now, you can start from the beginning here.
AFTER/WORDS is where I share essays and stories that explore:
Learning to love and build a family despite a childhood that taught me love was unsafe.
Grappling with my inner critic while balancing a life devoted to both art and motherhood.
Navigating the chaos and pain of loving someone who battles addiction.
Examining the raw, often unglamorous realities of the writer-mother paradox.
Writing alongside fear, not against it—and gently guiding others to do the same.
Wrestling with the uncomfortable truths of the human experience—truths we all face but rarely talk about.
This kind of writing—the raw, real, bone-deep kind—isn’t about being fearless. It’s about learning to stay. To keep the pen moving even when your body says “run.” That’s why I created the Fear-to-Flow Framework: a grounded, body-based process for writing the stories that scare us without abandoning ourselves. It’s the exact approach I use every time I sit down to write the truth.
If you’re someone who’s drawn to writing the hard things, I hope this space reminds you that you’re not alone. And if you want a gentler way in, The Fear-to-Flow Framework is a beautiful place to begin.
Write the hard thing. Especially the one you’re afraid to touch.
For the price of a good cup of coffee paid subscribers get:
The only place you can read (and listen to) my memoir, The One Who Leaves, with new chapters published weekly
Post comments and join the community for discussions
Archives of every newsletter I wrote for the last four years
Periodic Q&A’s, virtual immersive journaling sessions, deep dives into writing as both a craft and a healing modality, and more
Endless gratitude and the deep inner knowing that you’re supporting a writer-mother going after her dreams
What my memoir is about:
At thirty, I was pulled back to the shit-hole town off Route 66 in the dust of California that I’d spent my life trying to escape because Mom was facing felony charges—again. I get her out of the Mojave for a weekend and away from her drug-fueled lifestyle so that I can explore our shared past in search of truth. On the road, the narrative of Mom's life unfolds throughout the pages like a labyrinth: tales of home invasion well into the hundreds, her imprisonment with cellmate Susan Atkins from the Manson Cult, the meth lab Dad built in the garage of our sun-bleached house, the cast of homeless addicts I was raised around, and her role in the dissolution of our family.
These two narratives braid together, exposing the story of my life, but also my mother’s life. Of her unwavering love for me and her struggle to stay clean long enough to show it. Of my fight to understand her and accept the love she had for me all along, so that I could finally start a life of my own. The One Who Leaves is a raw and unflinching exploration of the ties that bind us to family, the lasting impact of addiction, and the power of redemption—revealing who we become both because of, and despite, a mother’s love.
Why subscribe?
Most of this newsletter is free. Sometimes, when the writing feels too tender or vulnerable, I’ll share it behind a paywall for $5/month ($20/year).
Writing is hard. And as a mother, I’ve found it even harder—there’s so little space, time, and energy. Yet, I’m a better mother when I write. So I keep showing up here, for myself and for my son, to show him that doing what you love is important. Doing what you love is never a waste of time. This is a space where I can pour my yearning, my grief, my rage, and all the parts of me that still ache. A space where healing and unraveling happen side by side. A space that feels safe. And it’s a space where I invite you to join me as I process all the messy, uncomfortable truths that come with fully living this one wild and precious life that is both beautiful and brutal.
Every subscriber holds a special place in my heart, and I hope you’ll support this space in whatever way feels right for you. Whether you’re here for the essays, memoir chapters, or reflections on motherhood and art, my greatest hope is that you leave feeling a little less alone.
This isn’t just a newsletter. It’s a living, breathing space for connection—a place to process life through writing so we can better understand ourselves, our past, and the questions that guide us forward. I hope you find something here that resonates with you.
Here’s to us growing, noticing, being. Here’s to us in the AFTER/WORDS.
Thank you for being here.
Tell your friends, and share with someone who might need it.
My writing has appeared in a range of publications, including Marrow Magazine, where my essay was in their top 10 most-read pieces of 2024. In 2022, my story The Things We Leave Out was nominated for both the Pushcart Prize and inclusion in The Best of the Net Anthology. My work has also been featured in Good River Review, Beacon Quarterly, Rappahannock Review, New World Writing Quarterly, and most recently The Rumpus.
When I’m not working on my novel you can find me rocking out to music with my toddler, making art with my partner, kissing the noses of our two black dogs, or fantasizing about Timothée Chalamet.
You can also find me on Instagram and my website.
