Artist Series: Oysters
On Writing: Three poems by Danielle Coffyn
I've chosen to feature these three poems by
because I see myself reflected in each one, and perhaps you will too. Every time I read “Oysters,” it resonates with me as if it's the first encounter. This year, I've often felt depleted, worn down by the tempest of life. While I wait for things to get better, to become easier and more joyful, the essence of “Oysters”—the struggle and yearning with a tiny glimmer of hope—keeps circling back. A silver lining, as thin as an eyelash, but a silver lining nonetheless. The poem holds hope within its lines, and I need that now more than ever.The first time I read “Sensitive Girl” I couldn’t stop nodding and clutching my chest like yes, yes, yes, this is me. Like Danielle, I cry over the geese, the moon, the school shootings, the whitening of my dog’s snout, my son’s hands, the wildfires, and the trees—so many trees. It breaks my heart, but this is paying attention.
Last November, I wrote something similar to “Alternate Ways To Say I Love You” here on my Substack about my son and titled it, This is how I say I love you. It was easy for me to come up with all the ways I say I love you to my son, but I wondered, can I do it for my partner? Can he do it for me? I’m going to use Danielle’s poem as a prompt and try this out when I have enough space for the vulnerability that comes with writing about love.
Danielle shares her poetry, essays, deep dives into womanhood + motherhood, and access to writing circles on her Substack,
.Danielle is a writer, mother, teacher, mental health advocate, eating disorder survivor, and outdoor enthusiast. She started her poetry account @musingsonbeing in 2021 where she worked through her perfectionism by sharing rough drafts of her work. Focused on themes of healing, feminism, rewilding, mental health, and reclaiming the body, Danielle’s pieces often focus on leaning into the discomfort rather than shying away from it and have resonated with people all over the world. She co-founded Superbloom Society, a women-centric, inclusive writing community that hosts writing and hiking retreats as well as writing workshops. Her goal as a retreat and writing workshop facilitator is to build community and space where individuals have the psychological safety they need to explore their inner selves.
Before we get into Danielle’s work, let’s start with three questions.
» What are you reading right now?
I'm currently reading Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés and You Better Be Lightning by Andrea Gibson.
» What do you do when you're coming up against resistance, and you can't seem to get to the center of the thing—the writing, the living, the task at hand? How do you get to where you want to go?
Oftentimes when I'm coming up against resistance, it's some kind of mental block, and I need to remove myself from the situation or task at hand. For me, that generally means going outside for a hike or if I'm short on time, just walking around my neighborhood park. It's so easy to get overwhelmed by long to-do lists or by staring at a problem from the same perspective for days or weeks at a time. I've learned I have to force myself to step away so I can return with a fresh headspace and perspective.
» Tell me about this poem. Where did it come from?
I wrote “Oysters” after a few weeks of conversations with friends who all seemed to be struggling with life and the onslaught of ongoing hardship, the feeling that they simply couldn't bear any more only to have something else go wrong. I wanted to write a piece that spoke to that depletion while also building in a small glimmer of hope.
Three poems
by Danielle Coffyn
Oysters
Nearly everyone I know is depleted, worn down by the tempest of life. One friend is thinking of leaving her marriage. One quit her job to prioritize her daughter’s health. Another watched his best friend stop breathing. I spent years wondering if I could survive the hornets’ nest that is my mind. So when silver linings are in short supply, I remind myself of the oyster. How, despite the dogged determination of her shell, parasites intrude, threaten to damage her fragile flesh. How she secretes nacre, layer after layer of iridescent protection until the irritant is fully encased. How her growth is invisible, yet after two years she is left with a pearl. Tiny, imperfect, glorious proof that beauty, too, is created from the guts of survival.
Sensitive Girl
I call to tell my friend I’m crying again, this time it’s the geese. I saw one limping, falling behind his friends as they crossed the road. I weep, uncertain he will survive winter. But I’ve always been thin skinned, more frog than turtle. Drinking and breathing every experience through translucent skin, feeling everything all at once. The golden warmth of my child’s fingers as he intertwines them with mine. The howling grief of a mama chimpanzee carrying her lifeless daughter. The courage to stand alongside highways asking for help. How no camera can fully capture the beauty of the moon. Bullets lodged in elementary school walls. The whitening snout of my beloved pup. The steady tide of a lover’s heartbeat. Trees suffocating at the hands of wildfire. It’s taken years to embrace my softness, to resist hardening, yearning for a life of detachment. So if anyone asks why I’m crying, I just tell them I’m paying attention.
Alternative Ways To Say I Love You
Want to share my fries? I stopped by the store for tampons and ice cream. Drive safely. I miss you. Let me know when you land. I’ll pick you up from the airport. Are you hungry? I ordered takeout. Have the last bite of dessert. I’ll put on a pot of tea. Can I help you? I fixed the sink. Go rest. I was thinking about you. What’s on your mind? Tell me about your day. Call me if you can’t sleep. I appreciate you. How can I support you? I don’t understand, but I’m listening. Let me do that for you. Do you need a hug? You’re not alone.
Where to find Danielle:
Substack | Instagram | Writing Retreats
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