April
On Now: The notes I leave for myself, the despair and wonder of art, and instructions on not giving up
April came and went before I could even settle into the new-leaved trees. I noticed them approaching and then somehow missed the moment they arrived. Time is slippery and unsentimental and I only want for it to slow, to pause, to linger so that I can catch up, so that I can sit with it and ask it why it must always hurry along, leaving me behind.
This last month is a blur, but I made little notes to remind myself that I existed in this time and I felt things and held things. This wrap-up may come out a little different than the ones preceding it. A little unorganized and sporadic, but that feels true—is true—to how April has felt. I’m going to share a few of the notes I left for myself, some of them are questions, some are quotes, the titles of poems, or links to things I’ve read this month and what came from them.
NOTES TO MYSELF
It’s okay to be sad as long as you’re kind. It’s okay to trust even if you’re scared. It’s the love that brings healing. And sometimes it’s the other way around.
I originally wrote this as a list of things I wanted my son to know, but as I’m reading it now, I wonder if I was also writing to myself.
Observing your own internal flow or connection to the rhythm of life. Do you make time for your own pleasure?
This is something I wrote when I was thinking about rhythm and how it shows up in our life. How we honor it. I’ve been musing on this a lot as I’ve been working on my next creative offering that’s launching next month—a restorative retreat for women in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. I’ve patterned with two close friends of mine to create this and I am so excited to share it with you.
The weekend will be centered around how rhythms and rituals bring us back to ourselves. I’ll be leading an immersive practice of guided journaling and a Yoga Nidra meditation. There will also be other healing offerings such as yoga, hiking, cacao ceremony, and a private portrait session for each woman who attends. I’ve been wanting to create something around creativity and community and this is it. I’m finally doing it. I can’t wait to be part of a micro-community of women where we have the safe intentional space to connect, commune, and be held with and by other women—the space to nurture others, and most importantly, ourselves.
I’ll be announcing it here on my Substack when it’s live, so stay tuned.
Do one thing every day for the things you’re workin on
I wrote this line after reading
's piece, “The First Times Vol. 1.” Her actual quote was, “Do just one step a day or a week until you’ve accomplished your goal,” but when I went to write it down, it came out differently. Then I made a list of the important things in my life that I’m working on that I’d like to commit to doing at least one thing every day for…Novel
Activity with Pressley
Future plans
Body connection
Mind connection
Marriage
The list was vague, but I know what needs to be done for each thing to get me closer to my goals.
What are the things you’re working on?
I’d love to hear about them, as vague or detailed as you want to get. And I’m happy to dive deeper into any of these categories if you’re interested in what that looks like for me. Feel free to ask. Feel free to share.
"Publishing is business. Writing is art. Don't confuse the two, and don't let the business steal the joy from your art.” - Louise Miller
I desperately needed to read this quote. After coming up against rejection after rejection for my memoir, I felt disconnected from my art. I questioned my worth as an artist. I resented myself and the need I have to write. I found myself telling my art to leave me alone. “Why do you need so much from me?” But then